Sunday, September 30, 2012

Coping with Death of Toddler


The stressor I chose was the tragic death of my four-year old cousin.  Many times we don’t understand how a child feels because they are unable to express themselves or their feelings in full detail and a way we can clearly understand them.  They don’t voluntarily share that information because being unable to connect with the person they’re trying to explain their emotions to makes them more frustrated then anything else.
Seeing a sibling fighting to be rescued helplessly from a fire, which in a matter of seconds, faces life then death and then trying to come to grips with the fact and finally realizing she didn’t make it out alive is very traumatic for anyone.  Death is never easy no matter how old an individual is.  Though it is a little more understandable when the deceased person has lived a full life, has seen all but the moon and finally has been called from labor to rest for whatever reason (illness, aging, etc.).  Questions arise when it’s a toddler, questions where answers aren’t always available, questions as to what could have been done to prevent such a tragic event.  Furthermore, why did such a thing happen?
            Death changes every aspect life once had.  Later in life that same toddler who witness that death is still affected and questions what this person possibly would of become in their life.  A child’s coping method is totally different than an adult and whereas we have learned different coping methods and still struggle when it comes to the actual test.  We must learn ways to assist children when expressing themselves.  Toddlers have emotions which we sometimes label as unhappy times especially when those times are uncertain or seem impossible. 
The coping I can remember that was used during this tragedy was just being around loving family and being comforted.  We were told my cousin was in Heaven and that we would see her again.  Day after day the conversation about the event grew fewer and fewer and within two to three months very little was being said returning life back to normal. 
Similar incidents such as this one have happened in Africa where the young children have lost their lives due to a fire.  I would like to research how the death from a fire is compared to children dying from living in poverty or being diseased stricken and see what coping methods are used and if it is different for each incident. 

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